I hate long drives. Long hours running away with and from evil.
Borderless night rides with a psychopath whose red veins bulge when I blinker right over a reflective marker. Tick-tock, tick-tock, bump – double sin. I learn to weave carefully; straddle markers, timing wheels, silently shifting into a new lane.
Finally freed…hustling, gunning the gas, peeling layers of crazy sick memories away, rushing when the judge said, “Go!” Long hours, long tears, away, away.
Today… long drive meandering to. A beauteous mountain retreat, on a mission to relax, enjoy. More difficult than imaginable. To look in the rear view mirror without expectation. Singing robust road songs and playing the license plate game out of boredom, not fear. Upon arrival, sinking joyfully into the waiting arms of Mom and Dad, Auntie A, and Gods green enveloping nature. All whisper to let go.
I release the long drive and snuggle into the rolling bosom of the Rocky Mountains.
Tricky, thick steel walls transport me outside, on furlough. “I’m fine,” I whisper. But the ransoms, the victims of my new freedom, are truthful words, honest emotion. They rail silently inside the steel.
Their frenzied sound absorbed by soft walls, bouncing away from the crevices. Laughing, the warden scatters toothpicks, quickly grabbed amidst skinned knees and bony shoulders. To be picked up and stabbed, splintering, at the seams and rivets. “I feel, I feel! I belong to her,” they shout. “I speak for her.” I look back, hesitate, but I have only toothpicks too.
OK, here goes my first blog post. I’m not posting these stories necessarily in chronological order, but I will start with the event that precipitated the ‘beginning of the end’. Hopefully by reading these snippets, you can piece together the whole.
Posted in Beginning, Craigslist, Inciting Incident, narcissism, personality disorder, Sex Solicitation, Sociopath
Tagged abuse, craigslist, discovery, narcissism, personality disorder, sex, sociopath, solicitation, story